サイズ ダウン

home via Rascal Flats: 00:35.43


snot rocket accuracy report:
left nostril - ↑30%
right nostril - still unable to maintain control


radiation ingested exhaust-style:
30-40 micro-roentgens


mullet flare:
in full effect

a view from the ride in via The Warehouse District. the wind's relentless refusal to obey the forecast combined with a stylish lack of tights keeps the v-tine's day calories* a' burnin'.

*here the custom is that the chicks give the dudes all this chocolate, which is later repaid in marshmallows on White Day (3/14). this repayment, of course, is contingent upon whether or not the original gift of chocolate was appreciated and/or flattering. now, if the ratio of the weight of chocolate received and appreciated to received and not at all cared for is less than the ratio of money spent on marshmallow goods to money spent on transportation to purchase said marshmallow goods, 'tis said that twice the amount of under-appreciated chocolate should be purchased and consumed in order to perpetuate the good graces of my main man Cupid San. a complicated system indeed, and while I don't expect y'in's to fully understand, just know that i done got me some mufuckin' chocolates**. whoo!




**"some mufuckin' chocolates" should be considered greater than one, but not too exceed 12 pieces of savory candy.

sucking long, hard wind

today was my first ride of any considerable distance at speed in well over seven months. suppose i'm not exactly in what one might call peak physical condition. lucky for me, rides like a dream. hauled ass right up the gut o' this goddamn town. made the gym in just about 38 minutes, in time for the 10 am line to get in the door. gym hours here don't necessarily cater to the busy lifestyle, and in my experience operate from roughly 10-10. i've heard tell of a 24-hour joint in nishinomiya, but hell, that's just a bit too far.

felt great to be back in the saddle, with nothing but the cool breeze and mixed masculine smells of sweat, asphalt, and exhaust to interrupt my thoughts. i discovered that many people here operate on the rule that as long as the motorist can speed up and get in front of the cyclist, then it's ok for said motorist to immediately slow down and cut off said cyclist with a turn. i've done it myself once or twice in the states. as the cyclist in the situation, i find myself coming up with fresh new combinations of "motherfucker", "fucking son of a bitch", the middle finger, and "fucking crazy bitch" quite often. adrenaline can be quite communicatively liberating. my only real frustration stemmed from not yet having transferred my loud as shit horn from The Little Mule. i was forced to throw out the silent bird tonight, and i'm not even sure if homeboy noticed.

fucking perfect weather this morning! even had to strip down to a t-shirt to keep from overheating. my, how fast that shit can change. some sort of evil wintery typhoon (rough translation) rolled in this afternoon, and gave me a stiff head wind the whole ride home. together we rode tough though. not many problems other than my long girlie locks smacking me in the eyeballs with every gust and only very recently regaining feeling in my hands.

hmmm, let me see. what else....

i saw a beagle dressed like a panda. that was pretty cool. my recent honored guest got a kick out of all the cute clothes on dogs here. i guess i'm accustomed.

my cookie supplies are dwindling. old man sent along a rather large batch of his special tasty treats. should anyone else get that all too familiar baking/shipping urge, i'm here to help, and can hook up the address.

i cried watching a movie last night. i ain't a pussy or nothin, it was just super fuckin cute.

i'm pretty sure my main man tony's gonna brave the trip j-ward, despite all the media scare tactics and whatnot. i gotta say that i'm a little proud, and also that he's not gonna regret that shit.

christmas tree's on the fritz. i've all but abandoned hope.

i'm enjoying blogging again, what with the extra focus time provided by The Stallion and all.

HOLLA.

inagural wreckage

the streets of Kobe aren't necessarily suited to riding sleek, sexy machines as fast as humanly possible at all times. most of them are fairly narrow, with no grid system to speak of here in the 'burbs. it seems that most folk use bicycles for commuting to the station, hauling groceries and children and other such niceties. more concerned with personal safety than speed records, most stick to the sidewalk. it took me a while to get accustomed to this when i first arrived, almost being plowed into on several occasions. it's illegal, just like in the states, but when the road is barely wide enough for a single car to fit through, the fuzz just turn a blind eye. occasionally you get some asshole riding way too fast and weaving in and out of pedestrians. rest assured, they get livid fucking stares from this guy.

i haven't been to every asian country, but i've yet to find one which truly respects traffic laws. crosswalks are a fucking joke. luckily, i've yet to get injured (by a vehicle) on foot in japan (see the bit about vigilante pedestrianism in cambodia). moreover, the logical hierarchy that should grant pedestrians the right-of-way in most cases (followed by bicycles, motorcycles, and finally, cars), just doesn't seem to be in place. basically, larger vehicles command control of the streets. i'm coming to grips with this, and i think it's really just a side effect of limited space and heavy population.

enter the stallion. i don't think many drivers in tarumi are prepared for such unbridled speed and maneuverability. my ride from home to the main area of commerce takes me directly down a steep slope, slowing to a gradual decline leading to a river before entering the (small) biz district. the little mule's brakes are worn to shit, and have almost caused me a few accidents on the main descent. i learned my lesson, and now take that one slow. the other day however, on the gentle slope, some shit went down. i wasn't ready.

there was this lady who either didn't see me, or expected the same pace as someone toting sacks of cabbages and children. she didn't pull out RIGHT in front of me, and i had some time to slow down. what she did decide to do, however, was come to a complete fucking stop due to a large truck parking on the side of the road. completely unnecessary in this man's opinion. that little maneuver i didn't have time to stop for. fucking bickity-BAM! rocked the rear end pretty good. i came away unscathed, and the stallion sustained but a minor scuff:

can barely see the scratch on the point of the shifting mechanism.

left a sizable dent in granmomma's whip though. i yelled an apology and ducked down to look through the rear windshield. we locked eyes in the rear-view, at which point i blew a sexy kiss. my traffic-accident-logistics japanese isn't so good, and she probably didn't want to interact any further with a foreigner, so we both calmly pretended as though nothing happened and sped away. things were a bit awkward at the red light a hundred meters down the road, so i decided to run it.

it's been crash-tested, and handled itself pretty well. don't worry momma.

while i was outside shooting that phote, the SUPER-MOON was in full effect. using my newly learned digi-camera abilities, i captured a few framers:

view out the front. had to go tall to get the moon, but you can make out the downtown kōb n' o-saks combo at the bottom.

view out the back. they've decided to douse the bridge lights due to the lack of electricity up north. the most interesting thing about this is that it's impossible to "send" power to that grid. apparently, after WWII, eastern Japan designed it's grid based on the German system, while western J designed theirs on the American system. the east operates on 50 hz, while we here in the wild goddamn west operate on 60. can't stop. won't stop. uh-uh, uh-uh.

there are connector stations and whatnot, but it just wouldn't be feasible. everyone knows this, and the conservation here is just a form of condolences.

more of the same. i was just pumped because it was the first time i was able to get night shots from the V-rand.

looking back towards the digs from the fire escape. garden's admittedly seen better days... i'll hook it up soon.

i went to this sweet flower and bird park a couple weeks ago, where they had all sorts of birds and flowers and whatnot. it was mighty sweet! you could buy bait (translated directly from japanese), and then these exotic fowl would come chill all up on your arm-piece and munch it down. beautiful flora as well.

lily pads! you could bait up the fish in this pond as well.

we shared a moment.

rhinoceros hornbill.

one of the coolest parts were these four little pools that you could pay 300 yens to put your hands/feet in. two were for hands, two for feet. in these pools reside the "medical fish". it's all these little bacteria-eating fish that will clean your skin. i screamed like a little girl the first few times i dipped my feet in, then realized that you just have to fucking go for it. it feels like a bunch of half-inch diameter pieces of sandpaper are gently being rubbed against your skin. clearly poses difficulty for those with ticklish feet. here's a quick video:

apologies for the small size.

oh boy

this morning (J time) one of my greatest friends ever landed safely in God's country, returning to a jetlagged reality. things here are a bit quieter now. for the past week, however, i'm proud to say that we together enjoyed some of the most exciting, surreal moments of my life. being the first of my peeps from home to pay a visit (eh-hem...), i felt it was a good gauge of how accustomed i've become to these strange lands. i was a bit concerned that i'd lost my ability to adequately communicate with folks the way i used to, but those fears have since hella-subsided. i also feel reassured that japan is fun. not like smoking pot and playing video games fun, but like spending 13 of your daily 24 hours laughing your ass off fun.

i wasn't quite sure when to expect said VIP. equipped with a flight number and a powerful thirst for the 'Net, i called it a day at work and scoped the narita arrivals. seeing her flight arriving aboot an hour early, enthused, i hit the f'in bullet train station. i figured on a 2 hour window of arrival. i and the JR staff must've felt me a douche, all excitedly getting up to stand at the turnstiles twice and hour and whatnot. came in on the last train o' the day.

i've been to himeji castle numerous times, and had never thought to venture further from the station than the magnificent castle that it is. since i'd spent the prior 3 weeks gaining knowledge of the greater kinki region (no shit), i heard tell of a joint that might be worth a visit. after working for a couple hours in the AM, we hit up Shosha-zan (書写山). bus from the station-ski, cable car to the top-ski, fucking fantastic....ski. ch-ch-check it:

this was this Hugh Gass bell that you could swing that there Heav Yass log into. i struck the bitch exactly 21 minutes before the quake (which i'll discuss in a mo'). the sheer resonance surprised the shit out o' me.

so basically, from the cable car it's like a network of trails and dirt roads leading you to all sorts of different temples and seemingly abandoned establishments. it was cold and friday, so most folk were at work or all snuggled up under the kotatsu. coupled with some unexpected snow, the solace was incredible. we were at one with our awe and sarcastic jokes. one trail was lined wit all deez statues and shit. this was my absolute fave.

this is a bit obscure, but it's the main temple of the complex. neither of us were in the least bit prepared for how fucking sweet it was.

it kind of jutted out 'the hillside. had there been any people there, it might not have been so impressive. we did our best to fit in with the times. went inside and lit some incense and everything. we even hid our beers in our pockets!

anybody see "the last samurai" starring tom mothafuckin' cruise!? this place look familiar?? eh??? there go my hollywood-style name drop for the day. BOOM.

it's hard to capture the scale and beauty of places like these on film. it's even harder to do on flash memory. this was some sort of boarding school for monks back in the day.

the woodwork was quite exceptional. thought my old man would especially dig it, were he to visit. (eh-eh-hem...)

another attempt to showcase the grandeur.

this tomb up on the mountain-piece.

from there we boarded the cable car for the ride down. we shared the cab with only the staff, who explained to us in japanese that there had been an earthquake in the Tohoku area, that there was a tsunami (津波) warning, and that we should take care heading home. at the bottom, Horace hooked up varying reports of the magnitude ranging from 7.4 to 9. didn't think much of it, and continued the adventure. wasn't until the phone call/email from momma that we thought it was serious, and wasn't until we got home all fucked up that we saw the footage. absolutely unbelievable. however, as there was no (AND STILL IS NO) danger posed to us, we took it in stride.

hit up kyoto the next day:

expansive graveyard. the best part about it was that we found it by taking what was probably the wrong side street.

i got this sweet new app for the H-man. allows him to take super scene photos.

kiyo-mizu dera was having this festival of lights that started the night we were there. mighty sweet!

there was this crazy bright spotlight comin from yonder mountain. not sure what that was all about.

this is the kiyo-mizu, or clear water. it comes from a "mysterious spring" in the mountain-piece, and let me tell you, tastes FUCKING FANTASTIC. we seized the opportunity right quick.

the UV sterilizing chambers for the mizu (water) scoops. solid engineering and a desire for freshness at every turn here on J street. we used two of these bad boys to fill up my water bottle (thanks doug and amy) with the sweet, life-giving liquid, then drank the shit out of it in a hard fought battle against our hangovers the next day*.

the best night view i got from the temple, reflected on the surface of a small pond. you see, i hadn't the proper settings on me digi camera-piece, and had to hand it over to the professional to hook shit up.

next stop was nara. it's true that kyoto was the capital before tokyo, but nara is like the grandaddy capital. apparently there's a great-grandaddy capital as well, but i didn't catch the name. besides, it probably has a naked lady tattoo and is always trying to scare the shit out of you by yanking his fake teeth.** here it go:

homeboy is clearly caged up for a reason. this was all wood by the way pops.

this is 東大寺 (todaiji). 'tis the largest wooden building in the world.

it houses this 大仏, or big buddha. michelle got in there for scale purposes, but it's still bigger than it looks. take note of the nostrils.

another bad ass wooden sculpture. i simply can't get enough of them. it's like that lay's (maybe) potato chip commercial back in the day that was all like "betcha can't eat just one!".

hopefully y'ins all noted the nostrils of the big buddha as instructed. this is a nostril-sized hole in one of the pillars in the temple through which, if one fits, one will be blessed with enlightenment in their next life. slid through like a greased goddamn pig, thank you very much.

anyway, it was easily the most enjoyable week i've had in japan to date. if anyone thinks they can help me beat it, good fucking luck. that said, i invite you all to try!


in other news, i got a new baby. now, i know what you're all thinking: "michael, you're way to young for that type of bullshit." but no, it's been far too long. i call it The Stallion, and it's beautiful and fast as shit:

weighs less than my backpack usually does, and loves me with all it's heart.

The Stallion and The Little Mule together. i still have plenty o' use for Ol' Muley, took him out on the train today in fact.

what follows can possibly be described as a rant, and is not necessarily in line with the positive attitude of this post. for those not interested, kindly skip on to the next photo.

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in extra other news, let's get down to the fuckin earthquake. i can honestly say that i've never seen such devastating video footage in my entire life. this is partly due to the fact that it's 2011 and japan is a super high-tech country. many people were equipped to capture the moment from their cell phones and cameras. i even saw some footage from this dude's webcam as he tried to steady himself in the middle of his room.

for those of you who don't know, it went a little something like this: japan is a highly tectonically active country, much like the US, Chile, New Zealand, and numerous others. off the coast of Tohoku, the pacific plate meets the north american plate, creating a subduction zone. the pacific plate (from here on referred to as "packie-p") dives under the north american plate ("namps"; "ol' nampy"; "the nampster"), creating a subduction zone. for the last hundreds or thousands of years, packie-p's been dragging ol' nampy down towards the core of the earth, and friction's been doing it's best to keep them together. on friday at 14:42 local time, however, the nampster simply couldn't take any further bending, and snapped back into place. essentially springing "upward", this displaced an incredible amount of seawater. the ensuing 津波 was absolutely catastrophic.

like i mentioned earlier in the post-piece, J-street engineering is fucking top notch. it's the reason that quake-inflicted structural damage was relatively limited. after the Great Hanshin Earthquake, folks here went to great measures to re-engineer numerous buildings across the country. there were even 津波 barriers in place. this scenario, however, was more or less worst case. i'm not sure it will ever be possible to protect anything against the 9.0 magnitude-13 meter combo.

while the danger posed from the partially exposed reactors at Fukushima Daiichi Power Plant are still very real, i'm afraid that the media is seriously over-hyping the situation. this is a widely known phenomenon (the over-hyping thing), yet i'm consistently surprised by how hard people bite the fucking hook. if i'm wrong, then i'll sincerely apologize. for now, however, i don't feel that there's any danger to tokyo, let alone me. i honestly believe that creating a panic in a greater metro area of 30-40 million people would be even more disastrous than the events of the previous week. this idea is most likely on the government's radar.

also, if you're one of the selfish mofo's who's thousands of miles away, trying desperately to relate this horrific incident to yourself by stocking up on iodine pills and bottled water, please stop watching the fucking news.
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in other extra other news, i got all fat.

then turned into a zombie.

*shortly after this peaceful photo shoot, we deftly located the only reggae dance club in town, embarrassed all the wannabe rug-cutters in the house, and called it a day.

**this may not be funny or even understandable if you didn't know "GG", but if you didn't, and it is, sweet.