Having heard tell of a tribe of monkeys nearby, I set off alone into the jungle. As they are notoriously easy to spook, I stealthily crept through the thick brush with a pocket full of camera. 'Twasn't long into my excursion when I happened upon a few unsuspecting primates. "Monkeys!" I thought silently. I locked eyes with one of the rowdier of the bunch, knowing that losing a staring match is a direct sign of weakness among their kind. Approximately 2 minutes 55 seconds into the competition I felt my legs being swarmed. The monkey had somehow summoned a formidable pack of wild mosquitoes, and I quickly realized that I forgot the DEET! Instinctively I abandoned the gaze to defend myself. I was haggard, dirty, welting. I decided to return to the bungalow and hose down in glorious chemical deterrent, but not before catching and dealing this little bastard a solid noogie.
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Be careful of those city monkeys - they aren't to be trusted: http://www.worldhum.com/features/how-to/how-to-prevent-a-monkey-attack-20081219/
"Scott Gamerl, a primatologist at the Topeka Zoo who has studied human/macaque interactions at tourist spots in Bali, says there are a few common signs that a monkey is becoming hostile. “If he blinks at you, or makes an exaggerated yawn, these are signs of aggression. He’s showing you his teeth,” he explains. “The same is true if he flashes a big smile.” At that point it’s best to walk away from the monkey, and make sure to avoid direct eye contact and not smile at the monkeys, which they interpret as an invitation to tangle.
If a monkey does charge, Vasey suggests you stand your ground. “As soon as the attacking animal knows you are subordinate to them, it’s game over—and they are really good at judging how scared you are of them,” he says. “Throw stones or branches at the animals and yell in as intimidating a manner as possible as you back away slowly.” If the monkey does grab on, don’t try to swat it away or scream, which might cause it to bite. Instead, Gamerl suggests, walk calmly away and the monkey will eventually jump off."
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